Dark is beautiful

I’ve heard this so many times that I get so pissed every time I hear it “you’re pretty but dark.” But you see, I’m not that pretty either, I feel they want to say that so they can inform me that I am dark. As if I din’t know that already. Next what I hear is “Why don’t you use this stupid ass cream that actually doesn’t do much but makes you look caked up and idiotic ?”  No, I don’t want to. I just want to get away from you aunty, you are being mean!! But I don’t say that because my mom will kick my ass if I do. I just smile while I have killed her thrice in my head.

When I say “Dark is Beautiful” even though it’s true, people will always say “She is saying that because she is dark” OK fine I am biased. I really don’t care what they say. But I will tell you one thing, although I put on a brave face and say “Dark is Beautiful”, it still hurts when someone says “Karrupa irruka, yuck”*

* she is dark, yuck

It’s not easy to accept that Dark is in fact beautiful even to yourself because there are a number of people telling you otherwise. When meeting someone who is a big jerk (sometimes there are a bunch of them) who will be pinpointing everyone’s flaws to feel good about themselves.

This is how it starts

“You look very dark”

Oh wow!! You can state facts. Wonderful!

“Have you been playing sports?”

So….

“It’s high time you quit and look after yourself. Why don’t you go to the beauty parlor and do something which will do nothing but cost money? “

And of course there will be a cousin, about your own age and your gender who will come and stand next to you to check who looks fairer.

This is why I don’t want to attend family events and my dad thinks I am in a relationship and I want to spend that time talking to my boyfriend on the phone when they are away with the family. When in reality I can’t manage to get a boyfriend because I am dark! Every time I walk past a bunch of boys in my college there are always comments on how dark I look and noises that are plain hurtful. And then there are these jerks who are dark themselves whom you expect not to talk about colour. But he keeps telling you are dark and he is fairer than you are. And he looks at girls who are really really fair. So dad you don’t have to worry!

There are things that have happened which just make you lose all hope in doing anything even if you have the talent. I wasn’t taken in any school events like dances, skits etc. The selection process was simple. Teachers used to come to our classes and chose all the fair kids and dint chose us to even compѐre although we had better diction than most. It starts young.

If I hadn’t had my mother, I don’t know if I would have had a fraction of the strength that I have today. I can’t say all people are like this because it’s not true. I have good friends who don’t care about my colour and love me for who I am. They make me feel good about myself.

Even though I keep thinking about my colour day to day, I have become more peaceful inside than the past. All I have to say is:

I can’t change my colour; it’s coded in my DNA. What is your excuse for being mean?